PARENTS/TEENAGERS OF 21ST CENTURY.
The relationship between parents and teenagers in the 21st century is different from what it was in the last centuries. Parents must be open to
tips that will help them bond with their teens. More especially during the new era of the corona virus pandemic. The weeks of lock down exposed the
gully in their relationships. Issues were exaggerated as both parties were forced to cohabit close to one another. Indeed, staying home with teenagers
frustrates many parents. Many Parents lack the skill to bond with their teen children. Already, Parents and teenagers have a lot of conflict during
teenage years. However, Parents and teenagers need to learn how to bond in this 21st century. A good relationship between both is
very important. It brings peace to the home. There are so many traits teenagers begin to exhibit that leads to the friction at home. Teenagers
are often moody and difficult. No matter how bad the relationship is , it can be repaired. Adopt a different strategy , act on the tips and see. Before
looking at the tips for bonding between teens and parents, we must understand the teens for who they are. Parents/ teenagers of 21st century belong to different worlds.
Characteristics of a 21st century teenager:
The teenagers of today are faced with numerous challenges . An understanding of their characteristics is important. The society has changed
and parents are facing a generation that is strange to them. Parents must understand that technology and virtual life are in vogue. As such they need to make clear the reality of life to the children.
- Paradigm shift in mindset and reasoning
- Social media family and friends
- Identity crisis
- Tech Slaves
- Popular culture worshipers
- Peer pressure to belong
- Virtual against real world
Nevertheless, parents especially African parents need to have an awareness of who they are dealing with. Here are some parents/teenagers bonding tips.
21ST CENTURY PARENTS/TEENAGERS BONDING TIPS.
1. Respect their independence:
The teenager will at this stage crave independence. Do not insist on winning the arguments. It will only generate bad blood. In fact, quit arguing. It is
essential parents allow the teenagers to make their decisions whether they are right or wrong. Sometimes, they need to fail in their endeavors. That
forms a great learning point. Because teenagers refuse to see the parents point in many issues just to make a point . Furthermore, acknowledge their
intelligence and don’t put them down . Teenagers are shy and will hate public humiliation. It is important to key into this.
2. Show Pride in having them:
Again , teenagers want parents approval in what they do. They may want to be like their peers but they want parents to applaud them. There is an
unspoken competition so they want you in their corner. Show them you love and appreciate them just as they are. For instance , encourage your
teenager even when her GPA is not perfect. Teach her that life is not perfect but can be won. Express unconditional love . Applaud and celebrate success
no matter how small. Do not compare them to other children. Everyone of them is special in their own way. A teenager can easily commit suicide when she feels she has failed her
parents.https://familyfaculties.com/2020/06/05/suicide-the-epic-horror-in-nigerian-homes/ Celebrate her for even minor achievements. Parents
compare their teenagers to themselves. For example don’t say things like ‘when I was your age I built a house for my father’. Caution. Your teenage
years were different. This line will definitely push the teenager away from you.
3. Improve Communication
Another tip is communication. Parents must open doors of discussion. Sometimes the teenager just wants to talk . Just listen . Don’t judge her. Trust and openness is grown from these discussions. Set clear but firm rules.
It is suggested that the teenagers help make rules at home. It makes them responsible for enforcement. However, being sincere, and open will gain
her trust and respect. Avoid threats. Teenagers abhor that. For instance Nigerian parents don’t hesitate to threaten with ‘I will not pay your fees’
lines. You can threaten and humiliate by flogging and other physical combats but what happens when she is older. Reason with teenagers, they
hear. While discussing, do not pry for information. Respect their privacy. The teenager is more likely to tell you things if she trusts you as a friend not
a judge. Hold polite discussions. That way you model a quality that will help her in future. Make your expectations clear.
4. Make time together priority:
Furthermore, many Nigerian parents are out there trying to eke out a living. As a result, they do not have time for their teenagers nor families.
Consequently, you lose a fundamental phase of your child’s development. The lock down forced you home but ended up being a war period. Get more
involved in your teenagers life. Show concern about what happens to his education because he will be worried. Be available physically and
emotionally. Time spent together is good opportunity to discuss issues like drugs, sex and other uncomfortable topics. Be clear on your opinions.
5. Resolve religious and identity conflicts:
Fundamentally, religion bothers teenagers. There will be questions and verifications of religious facts.This could also be a search for who they are.
Guide your teen to answers. Do not condemn her to hell fire because of her queries. We are in the era where Pastors have broken faith and Christianity seems a farce. Spiritual fulfillment is essential now.
Finally, parents must realize the difference in generations. More so with the pandemic, families have realized the importance of having one another.
Teenagers are dealing with a lot of stuff and will be happier if parents have better relationships with them. Whether a teenager is a girl or boy, the same standards are applicable.
Further Reading
- https://thepantherperspective.com/news/2018/10/29/the-life-of-a-21st-century-teenager/
- https://bestlifeonline.com/parent-teen-bonding/
- https://www.verywellfamily.com/startling-facts-about-todays-teenagers-2608914